How I Found My Spiritual Family

My mother was sixteen when I was born. My father was soon imprisoned for shooting someone, and my mom wanted to give me up for adoption.

Growing up without a father figure was difficult and I struggled because I didn’t have a role model. I hated my life and thought it was meaningless. My depression became worse in high school. In my head, I would repeat, “I want to kill myself,” on a daily basis. I felt an endless void inside my heart.

During my freshman year I would always sneak out and party to find satisfaction. For a short moment I felt happy, but I was really just making a fool of myself and felt worse afterwards. My partying and depression grew worse. I seemed happy on the outside, but I was slowly dying as darkness clouded my heart. It was hard for me to love or trust others.

LOSING HOPE

I soon found out that I would be moving to California to live with my uncle and I lost all hope. We barely talked or saw each other. I only knew that he was a pastor who traveled a lot. It seemed as if my life was fated to be miserable.  

I was failing in school, my friendships ended and my family was never close-knit; it was a broken home where everyone was either partying or gambling. I began cutting myself and wanted to kill myself. I convinced myself, “I’m stupid, worthless, and no one loves me.” Life became meaningless.

I contemplated ending my life by jumping off a bridge, but someone helped me realize that there’s more to life. A close friend told me, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Even though I couldn’t start my life over, I could start new today and make a different ending for myself.

EXPERIENCING GOD

I felt sad because I had no friends in California, but I was ready to start anew. When my uncle brought me to True Jesus Church, I felt the love of the brother and sisters. Even members who couldn’t speak English would try to greet me. I had never met such nice and compassionate people!

I enjoyed going to church and learning about the Bible. I discovered that God is a great God, and His love was felt through the brethren in church. I felt peace in my heart that I had never known.

That year’s National Youth Theological Seminar (NYTS) changed my life when I experienced God for the first time. I would participate in the prayers and I really wanted to change my life and receive the Holy Spirit. I thought people sounded crazy the first time I heard their speaking in tongues, but I came to understand that the Holy Spirit is a gift from God and that I could change myself if I received it. I began pursuing the Holy Spirit in all my prayers because I really wanted to stop being unsatisfied.

When I knelt down, I felt peace and joy flood my heart. I knew I needed to pour out my heart to God. I was finally ready to let go of my past and tell Him everything. As I prayed, I felt a warm breeze. Then I began speaking in tongues and I felt God’s love and warmth.

Tears of joy continued to run down my face after the prayer. I knew that God understood me. My heart was finally calm. It was a feeling only God’s words can describe:

“Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

Rom 5:5

EMBRACED BY GOD

By God’s grace and mercy I was baptized at Pacifica Church. I repented of my sins in my prayers. As I repented, the burdens that had been weighing me down were lifted. It felt like I was walking on air. As I emerged from baptism, I was warm despite the near-freezing temperature. God washed away my sins and it felt like He embraced me with His arms.

I drew close to God through repentance and changed my life. Through His love and mercy I have found my spiritual family.

Dear Friends

If you desire true happiness, peace, freedom and everlasting life, come to Jesus Christ, the Savior. Remember, “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved”

(Acts 4:12)